Obedience, Fear, and Crushing It

A quote I have seen several versions of and often take pause for goes along the lines of, “If something excites you and scares you at the same time, you should probably do it.”  If I was to try to sum up a litmus test for creating my goals into one statement, I think that would probably be pretty stinkin’ close.

I’ve had to spend the last few weeks getting out of my head and trying to get back to foundation of it all.  But God’s cool like that, because He’s given me plenty of opportunity to remind me what that foundation and beginning is and was, and the chance to give all glory and honor to Him for the things that I’ve accomplished the last couple of years.  I came to realize what my major malfunction was and where the course correction needed to come.  Humbling, but good stuff.

If you know me or followed my posts for any amount of time, you know how this whole journey of holistic wellness is rooted in one thing: obedience.  My goals center on one thing and one thing only–honoring God’s creation (my body) so that His will is done through me.  It’s not about me.  It’s not weight loss, it’s not running, it’s not crossing the finish line of an ultra some day–all of these are fabulous worldly (and not gonna lie–make ya feel pretty darn awesome) byproducts and measurable results of goals, but they aren’t the ruling factor.

The fear. Fear comes in a lot of forms.  I struggle with a lot of fear of failure–I’ve talked before about the mental battle–the I’m not good enough/not smart enough/not pretty enough/not enough head game.  While improvement is marked and measurable, there’s still work to be done…still chopping the weeds.  Fear of the unknown–I’m not a fan of calculated risk. I’m pretty conservative.  I think that’s why this whole concept of goal setting has been a pretty cool adventure for me too in that in the short-term and long-term goals–while there is a lot of structure and planning, there’s a lot of reaching for the stars and God-sized dreams there too where I don’t always have the personal faith in the facts, that I have to believe I’m going to grow into the truth.  I guess that’s just like training and running…there’s a predictable factor of improvement with consistency and while you can’t necessarily imagine yourself there at that moment, you can believe you’re going to get there.  And fear of disappointment–this one is one that I keep laying at God’s feet and picking up again, I can’t quite just leave it there and let Him work on this in me…the people pleasing.  I know I’m going to disappoint people in life–that’s fact, but the head game and stress it plays in my head isn’t good.  I’m not God and I don’t play Him on TV–I’m human.  If I ever find the answer, I’ll keep you posted.

And crushing it.  That course correction I mentioned earlier…it’s beyond good stuff.  While admitting I had to change things up was hard and humbling (not humiliating–there’s a difference, more on that another time), it’s brought me back to square one where I can see leaps and bounds progress again.  I needed that.  We all know I like tangible, measurable results in my goals in all three major areas (physical, spiritual, and emotional) and by getting out of the rut where my wheels were spinning, things are in motion again.  I’ve had to beef up the accountability, seek out some new avenues of growth, dig in deep on my training plan (next race in 30 days!!!), tighten up the nutrition, and reel in my focus–but it’s paying out in dividends.  Instead of feeling frustrated I feel empowered again.  I’m excited again.  A friend posted the acronym IWBMATTKYT the other day (warning, it’s not G-rated if you look it up) and I love it–while I don’t take it literally, I’m fired up!  Let’s see what goals get smashed now!!!

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