There’s a passage in a study that I’ve done several times now, and I’m leading a small group through it currently, where the author talks about allowing God to “mess with” different areas of her life–how some compartmentalized areas are permissible to go in and disrupt the status quo. I like how this study addresses this issue upfront, that we need to lose the boxes we put ourselves into. That we keep control in some areas, and surrender to God in others. To quote that commercial, “That’s not how it works! That’s not how any of this works!” We give it all to God.
And the blessing comes.
Oh dear friends, it comes.
It’s not easy. We take back a lot of control and play a game of tug of war often, because, well, we’re human. We make mistakes. I know for me, I want to know the plan–it’s fear that holds me back more often than not from giving up my will to God’s grand plans.
So, here’s my confession. I’ve been pretty discouraged lately. Satan’s been having a field day in my head in some areas and my defenses haven’t been fighting him off well and I haven’t found the words to figure out how to ask the usual troops around me to intercede on my behalf, so I’ve isolated it. Yeah, danger, Will Robinson.
In the midst of going through the motions and feeling like I’m just treading water in several areas, I got in the car yesterday afternoon after finishing up a lunch meeting and completely out of the blue, this physical wave of peace and unfathomable joy just washed over me. It hit me again this morning as I was on the treadmill warming up for my workout, and again as I was driving to the office this morning. It’s almost difficult to put into words.
I’ve talked in other posts how this journey of obedience has helped me to discover what joy really means–and the difference between happiness (an emotion) and true joy (a fruit of the Spirit). As I was driving and this wave hit me again this morning, I was listening to this song by Group 1 Crew, Take It All In:
Perfection. This song sums it all up. This unsticks the gears…the joy…it’s that moment of utter disbelief and elation and amazement when you cross the finish line. Just sit back and soak it in, stop and open your eyes!
But there’s no finish line–because we keep going. The race is not yet over. We press on. There’s more. There’s more to conquer. There’s more to fight for. There’s learning and growing to be done. There’s peace and joy. I’m worth it. You’re worth it. Our communities are worth it. And…