A Mile a Minute

So that would mean I ran more than a marathon today? Ha! 2018…it’s coming.

This time of year brings out a lot of pans on the fire over a short period of time. It’s nothing new to us, we’ve done it fifteen years in some capacity or another now, each year learning and refining our technique. Really the only hump to conquer is the start, then it’s just endurance and management through the end–watching the results of your planning play out and see how God’s going to use and bless it the efforts.

The endurance part of this time of year unfortunately in more recent years also awakens a deeper beast in me that I wish I didn’t wrestle with. It’s just life, and I get to roll with it…but there’s some side effects too that drag on me too.  The effects cause me to not sleep well for a period of time and will be awake at odd hours of the night and up even more ungodly early than I already am.  This does work in my favor in that I can and do randomly show up at the office at all hours to get things done and stay caught up in the busyness of the season, but it wears on my psyche too.

I know it’s only a season, and though I don’t get to predict how long my body will betray me this time around, it throws the balanced life I strive for a little off-kilter. I’ll never complain about the uber-efficiency, but I know intrinsically that a healthy body needs proper rest too.  Solving the problems of the world and contemplating my navel at 3am, that doesn’t do it. This efficiency however does bring with it a regimented schedule of planned meals, workout plans, plenty of awake time for devotions and time with God, so, it’s not all bad.

It’s not just the sleep though…The human mind is such a fascinating place.  Wish I could send mine on vacation sometimes.  I don’t like rehashing what I can’t control, but I also can’t stop my mind either…it’s a vicious cycle. Some things are meant to stay in the past, I *know* that intellectually, but I can’t control that which is brought into the forefront of my consciousness over and over again.  I just have to keep laying it down at the cross, because I just don’t know what to do with it.  And I’m not a fan of powerless.  This is where the busy is good, it keeps me out of my head…but that’s a damaging long term coping mechanism too.  This is where being the one people come to bites sometimes, you don’t always have the steam release for you, maybe one day I’ll figure out how that works…

I know I’m not alone in this, the holidays are a rough time of year for so many people for so many different reasons.  I may seem a little complain-y here, and to an extent I am, but this is also my most favorite time of the year.  Christmas is my favorite holiday, the only one I ever decorate for.  It’s also when I was introduced to our ministry as a volunteer that started the great work that changed the course of my life…it’s very much a special time.  It’s all about balance–owning my own brand of crazy that I can’t control and manage life to the best of my ability, and leave the rest to the One that knows better than me. So, let the games begin!

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