Reframing Disappointment

So, a few weeks ago my husband came home with a giant smiley face on his lab work from the doctor because his test results dramatically changed as a result of us living a healthier lifestyle.  I just got my lab results posted to my patient portal (don’t see the doctor until next week) and they’ve barely budged!  Seriously though, this makes me want to cry buckets.  I’m so disappointed.  Don’t get me wrong, my results weren’t bad previously, I’m healthy, but I would’ve liked a few of the numbers to move into an even healthier place.  I don’t foresee a smiley next week in my future.

Comparison is bad, I know this.  I should be grateful for where I’m at, because I’m sure there are people wishing to be in my place that are far unhealthier, and I am happy to be healthy.  Women’s bodies are so wacko anyway…what the heck is “normal” most days?  Still, I can’t deny the fact that my eyes are ready to fill with tears at any moment right now.

Here’s where the game changer lies:  what is my ultimate reaction going to be?  Will I chuck all of my progress out the window or pull up my big girl panties and keep going?

I’ll give you a hint: it’s the latter.

I have learned that these are the moments that I have to suck it up and intentionally reframe the negative committee in my mind that has to back off and shut up.  This is where I need to remember the positives.  It’s not about one set of numbers.  There is no one solitary measuring stick for a healthy lifestyle. I have worked too hard and come too far to walk away from my progress, not only physically, but mentally and spiritually.

These are my reminders today of my successes to push out the negative that’s trying really hard to consume me:

  • I have lost 85lbs.  More than I have ever lost in any weight loss effort to date. (that’s pretty darn humbling)
  • Yesterday I received a brand new pair of jeans, in a smaller size, that reflect dropping 3 pants sizes this year
  • I am on par to meet my fitness goal of 100 miles of walking/running/elliptical for November
  • I can do certain things with less effort than was required before, I don’t get as tired as easily
  • I feel better most days
  • I am starting to conquer the negative committee that meets in my head and putting it in its place
  • I am beginning to see the first fruits of gaining a positive self image…and I kinda like it

So…an hour ago when I first started typing this, I was on the verge of a collective meltdown due to my insane ability to turn the littlest thing into the end of the world.  I have since met with two clients and am reminded again that the little things can’t determine my worth.  A result on a stupid blood test doesn’t help people, lend a listening ear, give hugs of encouragement, and change the pace of someone else’s day for the good.  Divine appointments.  God’s got it all under control…once again, I need to rely on His strength and not my own.  He’s got all the answers in how this crazy game of life plays out, not me.  I just need to keep living according to His will for me.

Lesson of the day: Don’t sweat the small stuff, and it’s all small stuff.

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