Now that I have lost the weight of a bag of my dog’s food (35lbs), I have *finally* noticed a change. It’s a positive change, but an awkward one nonetheless.
I lose weight from the top-down. The last time I lost a significant amount of weight, I lost 4 shirt sizes before I barely lost a pants size (oh, I *love* my genetics that I have to thank for this body shape). I notice now, sitting here in my uniform shirt, that there is a bit of bagginess that was not there prior and the sleeves fit a bit better. I’ll take it. I’ve needed to feel a change in me for a long time.
Weight loss is hard work, man. There’s a cute quote floating around on Facebook that says something like, “I wish fat screamed when being burned.” I wish that there were more tangible feelings/rewards/differences along this road to grab onto. I admit, I’m an incentive-driven person. I need gratification to keep plugging along. Things like “you’ll live so much longer” or “you’ll be so much healthier” just aren’t big motivators for me. Changes I can feel–a more billowy uniform blouse for example–is what does it for me.
There’s another quote I saw I Pinterest that says, “Do it for the “Oh *bleep*! You got hot!”” That doesn’t work so much for me either. While I am committed to losing a significant amount of weight in this journey to living healthier, you’re not going to someday find me lounging on the beach in a bikini. My goal weight is 180lbs. Still considered “overweight” for my 5’8″ frame, I would be over-the-moon to reach that weight. The slightly disconcerting side of that is that when I reach my goal, I will be what I weighed in around the sixth grade. Sixth grade.
That’s one of the scary sides of this journey–I have no idea what I will look like when I lose weight. I have never in my adult life been a reasonable weight. To me, that is a little bit scary. I wonder–will I be toned and healthy looking from proper exercise? Will I have sagging skin? (Which in my research, the jury is still out…I’m young and resilient still, and only about 10% of people that lose large amounts of weight have sagging skin that requires surgery to combat, but I haven’t found any studies on those that have been overweight literally their whole lives) Yes, it sounds like vanity run amuck, but I think it’s a legitimate fear to wonder what the future holds.
I guess that goes back to trusting God. I know whatever the turnout will be down the road, that I’ll be just fine. Whatever may come, I will just have to take it in stride. Random thoughts for the day…