We know that self care is important, we hear it all the time. You might have also heard the adage that self care isn’t all bubble baths, but work too.
Well, there’s a middle ground. I’ve had a singular focus for awhile that has come around and drained me. While I’ve focused on all of those core needs and secondary needs that I’ve talked about previously, I’ve still been neglecting that time to stop and smell the roses.
It started with the question from someone, “what do you do for fun?” I felt a little dumbfounded because the things that come to mind are the parts of my business that I enjoy, triathlon training, and many of the tasks that surround those things. I became very aware that I’m not in-tune to fun because it’s been too long since I’ve taken the time to have some fun!
As with all change that I incorporate, I started looking for the low-hanging fruit–the small actions that I could start to take immediately to focus on fun. While I came up with some small actions, they still seemed a bit insurmountable because of the guilt and shame that I’ve been programmed to carry.
It took me quite a bit of time to reconcile the idea of putting myself first mind, body, and soul/spirit so that I was able to be at the best service to others. Even in that, I had to fight around the constructs of previous work and voices telling me that taking care of myself was to be secondary to the people served. When I started to consider this idea of fun, I had to come back around again (like peelng away the layers of an onion), to remember that fun is a form of self-care and it equips me for service.
Now, as much as I would’ve loved to have dropped everything and gone for a month-long vacation, that wasn’t in the small steps I have been incorporating to focus on fun–but what I have been doing is things like playing and experimenting in the kitchen, doing workouts that don’t have a singular triathlon focus (I’m looking at you bellydance!), and even looking at games to spend a few minutes playing to free my mind. That last one was the hardest–I had a hard time looking at it being okay to play games on my computer or phone because it had been hammered into me how horrible those things were.
But…fun!
I love puzzle games and games that make you think–card games, yahtzee, tetris, dominoes, and more–those are my speed when it comes to fun games. Not video games or live action/roleplay, that’s not my thing. I started to think about some of the computer games that I used to enjoy on the old (OLD) microsoft operatig system–things like Taipei (Mahjong), Free Cell, Solitaire, and more.
Then I stumbled onto https://www.solitaire.org/ that has all of those games that I love! And better yet, for FREE! Now that I’ve been able to put aside the guilt and shame of taking a few minutes to play a game to clear my mind and recharge, it has increased my engagement and energy level between appointments and throughout the day. My favorites are still Mahjong and Free Cell.
Now, taking fun from a small action of playing a game to something larger is still a ripple effect in process, but hopefully someday soon I just might be taking that month-long vacation! I’d love to know what some of your favorite games to play for fun are? Comment below!