You’d assume for someone who is entering their fifth appointment in nine years (remember, one being five years long, another being three…the math on the others, that’s the joy of getting married in ministry!) that this would be old hat by now…well, you know what happens when you assume.
To say this move has been like any other would be a complete farce on any account. We were blindsided by it, there were more moving parts involved in the transition, and so much more background than I’m willing to wear on my sleeve. That doesn’t make it a bad thing, it just makes it different.
There have been a lot of emotions the last two months in this transition–good, bad, and indifferent. I’ve had to reconcile, once again, being bumped from my comfort zone and facing a new adventure in being stretched even more than before. I’ve spent three years in a place that has grown me as a leader in ways that I didn’t expect, but even greater, it broke me in the best way possible. It shook me out of status quo and allowed the Holy Spirit to work in and through me in ways that I could have never possibly imagined that has just set the stage for even more insane and amazing dreams in the future. Yeah, yeah…Mike Reilly’s going to yell my name someday, and I’m undecided at this point as to whether or not I’m emblazon my body with the Mdot. (Because how do you know if someone has completed an Ironman? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. *Knee slap* I love that joke!)
The last few years have provided me not only with great achievement in the different areas of holistic health, but learning the importance of striving to find balance in them. I can’t say I’ve handled every day or moment of the last two months with perfect grace and composure, but I’m human. However, I’ve learned the importance of taking care of myself and where that needs to fall on the priority list–and it’s not at the complete bottom after everything else is done, because guess what? The work is never done.
I could have gone full throttle in immersing myself in the “poor me’s” over the situation at hand, everything that needed to be done, and looking at the insurmountable big picture…that if you look at even in this moment at the end of day one, is even a bigger mountain than when we started when the floor was pulled out from under us at the outset of this adventure. Instead…knowledge is power. I’m amazed that I haven’t worn it out yet, but I continually employ my favorite mantra that I use probably a thousand times daily, “what is the next right action?”
Things don’t have to be solved right now. Not everything will be done in this moment. But some action needs to be taken, even if it’s just closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, and that’s where this mantra suits well. It helps to bring me back to center, to bring it back to God, and continue to look to Him for what’s next on this adventure.
Honestly, in the midst of the chaos, I’m really proud of myself and how things have played out. Other than the understandable difficult emotions in transition, I’ve handled this move better than any other. I have been able to stay consistent in life and to the best of my (imperfect) ability be there for others and myself. I have eaten well, I have kept up on my training schedule (other than the stupid sexy, sexy boot….please God let me get it off tomorrow!), I have engaged in those intellectual, emotional, and spiritual activities that feed into my goals. I have shown up for me. I’m not used to doing that. It’s kinda cool.
So, this morning instead of having a literal panic attack on my way to the office to start this new adventure….it looked a lot different than the past. Woke up, took a short bike ride and watched the sunrise, came home to shower and pack my lunch, and went on with my day. No anxiety. Just getting the job done. Apparently you can teach an old dog new tricks.
I’m sold on the importance of making your healthy habits a level of priority in your life because I see the ripple effect…the couple hours I spend in the wee hours of the morning taking care of me have had such a profound effect–not just weight loss and physical ability, but in efficiency and capability too. I run circles around my former self. I have more stamina for the day, I am more productive, I get more done, I take more chances, I dream big. I shock myself most days too…believe me, you’re not the only ones!
Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined God would have brought me to this place so far simply from a cry out in utter frustration and true willingness to obedience…now if only I can stop doubting my capability on those God-sized goals. More on that later.