Today’s just been…well…weird. Plan for the day was altered (and welcomed), so I got some time to get caught up on some things. Had an interesting contact today–someone reached out to put some more effort into a job because they felt that it wasn’t as good as it could’ve been.
I thought about this for a while, thinking that in the grand scheme of life, did this really make a difference? In this case, yes, it does–it affects the training and quality control of a reputable business. And since my mind was in left field already, it got me chasing rabbits and thinking about how much of the time that I simply accept things in life, even if not the highest quality, because it’s what I feel I deserve.
How twisted is that?
Why do I deserve less than the best? Here’s the kicker–I believe that for the most part, I receive the best from others, but I don’t treat myself in the best way possible. I am harder on myself than I would be anyone else, I hold unrealistic expectations that I cannot meet, and the way I speak to myself, well…let’s just say you probably wouldn’t like me very much.
I deserve better. I should be able to look in the mirror and not judge myself harshly. I should be able to speak to myself the way I speak to others. I want to be able to care for myself the way that I care about others.
It’s a process. I know what I want for me. I have goals and plans to get where I want to be. I will get there. Look how far I’ve come over the last year! I’m a work in progress, and that’s okay…because while I may not be where I want to be yet, I’m closer than I was yesterday and that’s okay. And I’m never alone. God’s on my side and I am surrounded by supportive people and those that keep me accountable as well. For that I’m beyond grateful.
So, yeah, there’s a glimpse into my warped mind. I’m doing my best, and that’s all I can possibly expect of myself. So, what’s left to say? #igotgoals