Why?

I am pursuing without abandon a revival of my motivation and discipline–my “why.”  Everyone has their own breaking point, the moment in time where the realization strikes that where I am at is not where I want to be and something has to change. I can see, remember, and feel my defining moment deep in my bones, so crisp and clear that it still shakes me to the core to live out that God conversation in my mind.

As with anything in life, the newness wears off. I am reminded of a meme I see often that says something like, “motivation is temporary, discipline keeps you going.”  I’m probably not alone in the sentiment that I balk at the idea of discipline. I want what I want, when I want it, how I want it, and I want it now. I can see though, that the best things in life come from discipline.

I’ve gotten away from the rigidity of my disciplined practices.  I have realized lately that it has gone from discipline with a purpose to rote routine. This sends up big warning signs in my mind–as soon as my pursuit of holistic health becomes something that I just “do,” I might as well kiss all the progress I’ve made goodbye. I have been in a position the last three or four weeks where I’m just going through the motions, just spinning my wheels. Not good. And it shows. The scale has plateaued again, I find myself not as willing to make the best food choice first without some internal debate, etc.

Well, so what?

Here’s the so what: being present. Remembering why I want to be healthier, remembering why I want to grow closer to God, remembering why I don’t want to live in the crazy mind that I started with. It’s one thing to haul myself to the gym because it’s necessary, but the progress is made when I move my body with the conscious mindset that I am doing something with my body that is pleasing to God.

Living with intention. Not just going through the motions. Remembering my “why.”  So here’s some of the actions I’ve taken/am working on to get my consciousness back to intentional and mindful action:

-less screen time
-adjusting my morning routine to put my focus on God first
-listening more, reacting less
-prolonged decision making when it comes to food choices (taking the time, space, and delay to differentiate true vs emotional hunger)
-no justified excuses

So, that’s where I’m at. Back to the basics. I will succeed, not because it’s the desire of my heart–because it’s in God’s plan for me to be healthy and whole.

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